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HIGH ROLLERS
Screenplay and Story by
Jack Stone
FADE IN:
EXT. NEVADA HIGHWAY/ROUTE 66 - DAY
A 1960's worn out pink Cadillac convertible barrels down
highway Route 66. Marijuana smoke billows from the vehicle.
An imitation leopard skin drum set fills the back seat. The
trunk is tied down with all manner of unorganized gear which
bounces down the highway.
A couple of dilapidated and badly dinged surfboards stick up
in the back seat.
JOHNNY RAY, (AKA, Johnny America) is a singer/drummer. He
looks ridiculous in his spandex pants, too many bracelets and
dated 1980's rocker haircut.
Davie Blackburn, (AKA, Dink) sits in the passenger seat
wearing tight jeans and a vest. He's not a very good
guitarist. Not very good at all. As far as the hair goes,
ditto. Another dated rock Ôn' roll rock star wannabee.
These two stoned and disillusioned musicians are heading
west, destination Hollywood, California. They've got pie in
the sky dreams of making it big in the music biz. Too bad
they're 15 years behind the times or maybe 15 years ahead of
their time? Go figure.
Dink sits in the passenger seat strumming a sunburst painted,
1962 Les Paul with humbucker pick-ups and a white turtle
shell pick guard.
Johnny steers the wheel of the caddy with his knees and beats
on the dashboard with a pair of worn drumsticks.
With watery eyes they pass a bong hose back and forth to each
other taking huge hits.
Johnny rummages through the available radio stations in this
vast desert wasteland. He only manages to find country music
anywhere on the dial.
JOHNNY
Nothing but country music.
DINK
Two words that don't belong together.
Country...
JOHNNY
And music.
Johnny pulls out a cassette tape and plugs it into a cassette
player.
Just Say Yes, an outdated 1980's Sunset Strip style rock song
begins to play.
Surfboard wax is dripping all over the drum set. The base
drum has the boys band name poorly painted on it, Noisy
Leopard.
DINK
Oooooh. Dude I think it was a really bad
idea waxing down these boards before we
got to California.
JOHNNY
Rude dude, get the wax out of your ears.
I'm trying to break down the new mix.
He reaches over and blasts the volume through a pair of blown
out speakers and gives Dink the stink eye.
Johnny begins to beat the dashboard with a pair of drumsticks
again. (The dashboard is totally trashed from years of being
used as a drum pad.) Johnny's totally into it.
Out of the sweltering wave of the terrible heat and from the
distance a cop car slowly melds from the liquid highway
creeping up on the rear of the Cadillac.
Johnny and Dink have no idea they're being tailed.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Awesome mix. True?
The cop car is now tight on their ass and keeping pace.
DINK
(hesitating)
Not that your drum tracks aren't rad.
Which they are dude. They're righteous.
JOHNNY
But?
The cop picks up his microphone and radios in a call.
DINK
But creatively speaking... I've been
meaning to tell you. You're totally
drowning out my guitar!
The cop turns on his lights, flashing bright red lights as he
continues to tail these guys.
JOHNNY
Oh, really. Well, then do you have
anything critical to say about my vocals?
Like, what's wrong with my singing? Of
course creatively speaking.
DINK
Well, now that you mention it. I
wouldn't mind giving you some
constructive criticism.
WHOOP. The cop slightly hits his siren to get their
attention.
DINK (cont'd)
What the hell was that? Oh, great.
Great. You throw in a disco effect
without telling me about it. Just great.
JOHNNY
I didn't do that. It must have been the
engineer dude. Man, never ever work with
a washed up engineer from the disco era.
DINK
Disco sucks.
JOHNNY
True. True.
The poorly mixed song becomes garbled as the tape player
begins to chew up the tape.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
The tape! It's eating the tape. Get it
out. Get it out.
Dink pulls the cassette tape out and the player which has
totally chewed up the tape.
The spaghetti mess remains attached to the deck even as Dink
stares in disbelief at the tape he holds in his hand.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Our only master.
DINK
I'm bummed. We should have made copies.
JOHNNY
It's a little late for that. It's Karma
dude. It's your bad karma for bagging my
vocals.
DINK
Did not.
JOHNNY
Did too.
DINK
Did not.
WHOOP.
They look at each other totally surprised.
DINK (CONT'D)
There it is again.
JOHNNY
If it ain't the tape?
Johnny looks into his rear view mirror.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
Cops. Oh, man what now?
Dink turns around quickly. He looks the cop right in the
eyes as he blows out a huge cloud of smoke.
DINK
Code blue.
JOHNNY
Love it. Hug it. Drive it.
DINK
Bug it.
Dink quickly puts a bouquet of flowers in the bong. He then
sprays one of those cheesy deodorant aerosol sprays you'd
find at one of those Russian owned car washes.
He sprays it in his mouth and then in Johnny's mouth.
They pull over.
The COP, an extremely menacing figure exits his squad car,
adjusts his hat and walks arrogantly toward the caddy.
COP
Let me see you license and registration?
JOHNNY
Yes sir.
Johnny scrambles to find his license. He can't.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
I know it's in here somewhere?
He continues to search for his license.
COP
You boys know why I pulled you over?
DINK
To totally harass us?
COP
Shut up smart ass.
The cop steps toward the car and takes a deep breath.
COP (cont'd)
You boys been smokin' Marijuana?
JOHNNY
No sir.
COP
Care to submit to a search of this
vehicle?
JOHNNY
No sir.
COP
Well, we can do this the easy way or the
hard way. Consent to a search. Or I can
get a warrant for cause, bring in a
police dog and strip this vehicle down to
parts. So, tell me do you boys want
that?
JOHNNY
No sir.
COP
Good. Let's try this again. You boys
been smokin' Marijuana?
DINK
Is that a trick question?
COP
(to Dink)
If I hear another smart mouthed comment
come out of your ass, I'm gonna kick the
shit out of you.
(to Johnny)
Answer the question. You boys been
smokin' dope?
JOHNNY
That depends sir.
COP
On what?
JOHNNY
If we say yes, are you thinking about
throwing us in jail?
COP
Well, that depends. You can spend the
next fifteen years in a state
penitentiary with the meanest son of a
bitch in the world as your cellmate who's
hell bent on making you his permanent
girlfriend if you get my drift or...
DINK
Or what?
The cop points at the guitar Dink is holding.
COP
Is that guitar you're holding is a 1962
Les Paul standard with humbucker pick-
ups, small frets, tune-o-matic bridge,
and turtle shell pick guard with original
paint?
DINK
(stunned)
Uh! Yeah.
Johnny continues to search for his license.
The cop gestures with his hand for Dink to hand it over.
Dink hands his guitar over to the cop like a mother would
hand over her only child to Satan.
COP
Ya hoo boys. I've been scoutin' for one
Ôem babies for a month of Sundays.
Nothin' plays country music better than
one of these sweet li'l darlin's.
Dink drops his jaw as the cop points into the back seat at
the case.
COP (cont'd)
Original case?
DINK
Yeah.
He puts the guitar into the case and closes it.
COP
You boys have a nice day.
The cop smiles.
The look on Dink's face says more than words.
The sound of the cops footsteps are heard as he walks off
with Dink's guitar.
Johnny reaches under the seat and comes up with his license.
JOHNNY
Found it.
The cop car drives off.
EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY
The boys are driving further along Route 66. They're tempers
are flaring higher than the soaring heat.
DINK
My life savings went into that ax. I
loved that guitar more than life itself.
I traded my 12 string Guild, a 67
Gretsch, a 76 Fender Telecaster and
$2000.00 bucks for that guitar. I had
the action tweaked perfect. The sustain
was awesome and it stayed perfectly in
tune. And for what? So some hillbilly
cop can come along, steal it out from
under me and use it in a honky tonk band.
That's so wrong it's not even funny.
It's sac-religious. It's heretical and
parenthetically...
He makes quotation marks with his fingers.
DINK (cont'd)
Its all your fault.
JOHNNY
My fault? You wouldn't be saying that if
he was a drummer.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Better that cop stealing your guitar then
us going to jail as tight ends and coming
out as wide receivers.
DINK
Why'd I ever listen to anything you have
to say?
JOHNNY
What's that supposed to mean?
DINK
Why'd I ever let you talk me into a trip
like this. And Noisy Leopard? What a
stupid name. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid
name.
JOHNNY
Oh yeah, like Black Sambo was any better.
That was great. A real classic. You
really stretched your brain for that one.
And besides if you don't like Noisy
Leopard why didn't you say so? Dink!
DINK
Don't call me Dink.
Johnny acts like he's playing air guitar.
JOHNNY
Dink. Dink, dink, dink, dink.
DINK
Don't call me that. Don't call me Dink.
JOHNNY
Dink. Dink. Dink. Dink.
DINK
That's it. That's it. Pull over. I'm
getting out.
A stoned out Dink opens the door before the caddy comes to a
stop. He steps out.
Dink hits the ground hard, rolling like a bowling ball toward
a ten pin strike.
Johnny has no idea that Dink has stepped out for a while.
JOHNNY
Alright, you want out? You want me to
stop? OK, sure. I'll stop.
The car screeches to a halt.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
There you happy?
EXT. DESERT ROADSIDE - CONTINUOUS
Dink roles to a stop at a pair of black high-heeled boots.
Female boots. Boots that seem to go up a pair of long
shapely legs forever.
Dink's almost unconscious and groaning in pain.
INT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
JOHNNY (V.O.)
Dude, you never appreciate anything I do
for you. You bag on my ride. You nag me
about my tunes.
EXT. DESERT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Dink begins to crawl back to the car groaning as he does.
His elbows are bloodied. His knees are cut up, his jeans
torn and his face is covered in dirt.
Neither fool notices that in the sweltering heat there is a
drop dead gorgeous chick who was hitch hiking on the side of
the road.
INT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
JOHNNY
And you rag about my drumming. There's
nothing that I can do to please you. No
matter how hard I try.
Dink finally crawls back into the car. Johnny turns toward
him.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
Well, you getting out? Of what?
EXT. DESERT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
BETTY PARKER interrupts.
BETTY
You boys gonna spend the whole day
arguin' or are you goin' to offer me a
ride? Well, how Ôbout it? You goin' my
way?
She's wearing an eenie meenie tiny and tight red mini skirt,
a yummy and revealing halter top and high heeled black boots.
She seems to appear out of no where as she fans away the red
hot heat.
Johnny eyeballs her and Dink's jaw drops.
JOHNNY
Which way is that?
BETTY
Vegas. Where else?
JOHNNY
Uh, yeah. Sure. Hop in.
BETTY
I can see this is going to be the ride of
my life.
She waits for Dink to open the door. He's too numb from the
fall and her presence.
BETTY (cont'd)
That's OK. I can manage.
Betty takes her left leg and steps over the car door.
She then steps onto Dink kinda accidentally as he screams in
pain.
She straddles Dink to give him a real good look. She steps
between the two and again Dink screams in pain.
BETTY (cont'd)
Ooops. I almost forgot my bag.
She turns around and bending over puts her ass right in
Johnny's face revealing white panties with little red hearts.
She reaches out of the car and and again leaning onto Dink.
He screams again. She picks up her bag, tosses it into the
backseat and then sits down and grins to each of the boys.
BETTY (cont'd)
Whelp. Here we are.
JOHNNY
And here we go.
The caddy pulls away.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Is this our lucky day or what?
EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY
The caddy drives on.
Betty catches Dink looking down her blouse.
She turns and catches Johnny staring at her legs.
She turns his head forward.
BETTY
You better keep your eyes on the road.
JOHNNY
I got eyes in the back of my head.
She tries to pull down her tiny little skirt.
After a few awkward moments.
BETTY
My names Betty Parker. What's yours?
JOHNNY
My names Johnny. He's Dink.
DINK
(whining)
I am not.
BETTY
Boy is it a scorcher today. It's
terribly hot out here.
She loosens up her blouse and begins to feign fanning herself
from the heat.
Johnny peeks again.
BETTY (CONT'D)
So, where are you boys headed?
JOHNNY
Hollywood.
DINK
We're musicians.
BETTY
(looking in the back seat)
No foolin'. I would have never guessed.
She sees the name on the drum set.
BETTY (cont'd)
Today must be my lucky day. I can't
believe it. To be picked up by the Noisy
Leopards. You know ya'lls one of my all
time favorite bands?
JOHNNY
No kidding?
BETTY
Un huh!
JOHNNY
I'm the singer.
DINK
I play guitar.
BETTY
My. My. I'm honored. You never know who
you might run into.
DINK
Where'd you say you were heading?
BETTY
Vegas. My girlfriend from back home, she
got me a real job as one of them cabaret
dancers. She's a personal friend of
Wayne Newton's.
DINK
Wayne who?
JOHNNY
Newton. Wayne Newton. Everyone knows
he's the guy that makes those cookies.
DINK
Oh, yeah.
JOHNNY
He's got a whole fig farm right in the
middle of the desert.
BETTY
You fellas are so kind. The last feller
who gave me a ride was this trucker. He
wanted to do terrible things to me.
Terrible things. Can you just imagine?
JOHNNY
Yeah, I mean no.
Johnny leans in real close to Betty.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
Don't worry I'll protect you.
Dink leans in real close and gives Johnny the evil eye.
DINK
(mumbling)
It's the first time I ever heard it
called that.
JOHNNY
What I mean is we'll give you a ride to
Vegas.
BETTY
I wouldn't want to put you out of your
way.
JOHNNY
No problem. It would be a pleasure.
INT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
The caddy continues westward.
Suddenly Betty starts to lose some color.
BETTY
I feel a bit woozie. I'm not so used to
this kinda heat.
She fans herself again.
BETTY (cont'd)
I sure could use a cool drink right about
now.
She begins to convulse. The boys don't know what to do.
They've never seen anything like this before.
DINK
Oh, my God Johnny do something.
JOHNNY
Me? I don't know what to do.
DINK
Lady, what can we do to help?
BETTY
My pills. Get me my pills quickly.
She starts to contort terribly. The boys begin to panic.
Johnny pulls over. Dink begins to rummage through her bag.
DINK
(panicking)
I can't find them.
Now she's real long gone. The boys are frightened.
JOHNNY
Hurry up dude. Hurry up!
Dink finally finds the pills and stuffs one in her mouth.
They watch in astonishment as she eventually calms down.
DINK
That was heavy.
JOHNNY
Really, really heavy. Betty, are you OK?
BETTY
I'll be OK. It's just this heat is too
much for me to bare.
She passes out.
The boys look at each other concerned.
EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY
The caddy drives on.
Johnny looks over at Betty.
They pass a sign advertising the worlds largest meteor sight.
5 miles ahead.
BETTY
A meteor? Imagine that? Where I come
from back in Gallup nothin' ever happens
as exciting as that. I never seen
nothin' as thrillin' as a meteor.
JOHNNY
We'll have to stop and check it out. If
you're up to it, of course.
BETTY
Really?
JOHNNY
Do you think you're up to it?
BETTY
I wouldn't miss it for anything in the
world. You'd do that just for me?
JOHNNY
Sure why not.
BETTY
A meteor. Imagine that!
EXT. DESERT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
They pull into the parking area of the meteor sight. A fence
surrounds a huge hole in the ground.
They walk up to the gate. A sign reads $10.00 General
Admission.
DINK
Ten bucks to look at a hole in the
ground?
Johnny fumbles through his pockets.
JOHNNY
I left my wallet in the caddy dude.
Dink. I mean Davie. Can you cover?
Johnny gestures for Dink to cough up the dough. Dink has to
fork out the money for admission and he's not too pleased
about it.
EXT. METEOR SIGHT - CONTINUOUS
They walk up to the hole in the ground. No big deal. Just a
hole in the ground.
DINK
Thirty bucks for this? What a waste of
time and money.
JOHNNY
(cooing at Betty's)
He's always complaining about one thing
if not another.
BETTY
I think it's wonderful.
DINK
Boy, when I get rich and famous I'm gonna
come out here and dig me a big stupid
hole in the ground. Then, I'll put a
fence around it and charge people to look
at nothing. Nothing but a stupid hole in
the ground. Can we get out of here now?
EXT. METEOR SIGHT - CONTINUOUS
They're back at the meteor parking lot.
The car is no where to be found.
JOHNNY
Where's my car? I left it right here.
Right here.
The pink caddy's gone.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
How does a car disappear out here in the
middle of nowhere?
DINK
Do you think they towed it?
JOHNNY
Why would they tow a car out here in the
middle of nowhere? You idiot.
BETTY
UFO's! This area is known for sightings.
Maybe creatures from another planet came
and just zapped it into outer space.
DINK
I've heard of people disappearing, but
not cars.
JOHNNY
My drum set! Everything I have is gone.
Gone. All gone.
He grabs his head and drops to his knees.
DINK
We never should have left home.
JOHNNY
What are we going to do?
DINK
Forget about Hollywood.
JOHNNY
You want to go home? Get going. So
long. See you later. You want to turn
back with your tail between your legs.
Fine! That's up to you. I'm going to
Hollywood if I have to walk the whole
way. And when I make it, I'll look back
on this day and laugh. And you'll be
very sorry. Like Pete Best sorry.
DINK
What about our stuff dude? How do you
jam without equipment? In case you need
reminding, it's gone. All of it gone.
And what about the money?
Johnny quickly checks his pocket.
JOHNNY
(screams)
My wallet! They got my wallet.
He falls to the ground.
EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY
The threesome walk down the desert highway with Dink hobbling
behind.
JOHNNY
Could you at least make an effort to keep
up?
DINK
(in total agony)
Johnny, this is crazy. Let's turn back.
Johnny places his hands over his ears.
JOHNNY
I can't hear you.
Dink turns to walk the other way.
A four door Lincoln with bull horns on the hood and an NRA
sticker on the windshield pulls up to a dead stop.
LESTER BUCHANAN a wild-eyed looking cowboy maniac pulls up to
a screeching halt.
LESTER
You folks look like you need a ride?
JOHNNY
(about to drop dead from the
heat)
Where ya headed to mister?
LESTER
Vegas.
BETTY
Well hello mister. You must be an angel
sent from heaven.
She hops in.
JOHNNY
Hey, Davie! You comin' or what?
LESTER
Let's go fellas. Daylights burnin'.
Dink stops, turns and then runs to the car, limping the whole
way.
The boys sluggishly hop in the backseat.
INT. LINCOLN - CONTINUOUS
The Lincoln barrels down the highway.
LESTER
It sure is a scorcher out there today.
BETTY
We're forever indebted to you for giving
us a lift Mister.
JOHNNY
Yeah, thanks alot.
LESTER
The names Buchanan, Lester Buchanan.
Come all the way from Chickasaw. Yep,
this desert is enough to make a man
realize his mortality. Make a man do
things he ought not do.
JOHNNY
What do you mean?
LESTER
There's enough bodies buried out here to
cover the highway all the way to the
coast. There's a mountain of bodies
heaped up high, buried under miles and
miles of desert sand. Plenty of dead
folks all over this place just screaming
to tell their stories. Stories that'll
never be told.
DINK
What's that got to do with us?
LESTER
Got everything to do with you. Fact is
stranger than fiction.
BETTY
What kinda business you got in Vegas?
LESTER
Going to an NRA convention. Gotta do
the right thing you know. Protect our
rights before them commies take over.
Them reds are pretty smart. One day when
everybody least expects it. Boom! It'll
all be over. And your kids and your kids
kids will be speaking Russian and
saluting their pinko flag. Damn, I hate
them reds.
The boys are frightened. Very frightened.
LESTER (cont'd)
You know if they ever outlaw guns then
only outlaws would have Ôem. And I'd be
one of America's most wanted.
BETTY
But guns kill people.
LESTER
That's a fallacy. Guns don't kill
people... bullets kill people.
Johnny and Dink wish they were back on the highway instead of
riding with this loose cannon.
LESTER (cont'd)
So... Where you fellas off to?
JOHNNY
We were heading to Hollywood but someone
stole our car.
DINK
And my guitar.
Johnny's tired of hearing about the guitar.
JOHNNY
What about my drum set?
DINK
What about my dearly coveted autographed
pick collection? I had a pick that was
autographed by every guitar player that
ever played with Ozzie.
JOHNNY
What about my wallet?
DINK
What about my money that was supposed to
be stashed away safely in your wallet?
JOHNNY
What about my stash that was stashed in
the dash.
DINK
The stash.
LESTER
No sense cryin' over spilt milk.
BETTY
Don't you worry none.
(to Lester)
These boys are gonna be rock stars.
DINK
If we ever make it to Hollywood.
LESTER
Looks like you fellas are in a fix.
JOHNNY
Stuck.
DINK
Glued to the spot.
LESTER
Seems to me you boys need to be bailed
out of a sinking ship. Maybe I can help.
JOHNNY
What do you have in mind?
LESTER
Lets just say lady luck is smiling down
on you. Today is your lucky day.
EXT. SEEDY RUNDOWN HOTEL - LATER SAME DAY
The door flies open.
INT. SEEDY RUNDOWN HOTEL - CONTINUOUS
BOBBY JOE is a lunatic. Anyone can see that. He quickly
jumps up and aims a rifle at the door as he cocks the hammer.
LESTER
Hold on their Bobby Joe. These boys are
our guests.
Johnny and Dink hesitate to enter. Lester gives them a shove
into the room.
BETTY
Would ya'll mind if I use the restroom?
I need to freshen up.
LESTER
Take all the time you want little missy,
we got us some business to discuss.
DINK
(heading for the door)
I'll be right back.
Lester grabs Dink's collar and pushes him and Johnny into
chairs.
Lester breaks out the floor plans to Cleopatra's Casino and
roles them out onto the table.
LESTER
Alright everybody listen up. There's a
highroller event taking place tonight in
the Crystal Ballroom at Cleopatra's
casino. At stake is a cool one million
dollars.
DINK
I don't understand?
JOHNNY
Where do we come in?
LESTER
(wide smile)
I need you to get gain us access to the
ballroom.
DINK
Us?
JOHNNY
But why us?
LESTER
Because musicians can get into the room
without any problem from security.
DINK
I don't know...
JOHNNY
Sounds dangerous.
Lester slaps Dink hard on the back.
LESTER
Hell, security will be lax and the guards
carry no guns. So you got nothin' to
worry about. ÔCept maybe the wrath of
Bobby Joe here if you don't cooperate.
Bobby Joe stares them down hard, gritting his teeth.
LESTER (cont'd)
And if you don't, then I'll have Bobby
Joe here blow a hole clear threw you,
slit your throats and remove your vocal
boxes. Make no bones about it. Dead men
tell no tales.
Bobby Joe shoves the rifle at Johnny's gut.
JOHNNY
You do have a point there.
DINK
No guns?
LESTER
(smiling)
No guns.
JOHNNY
I got a question. Why wouldn't the
guards at a really big casino be carrying
no guns?
LESTER
Simple enough to answer. You see, no
casino in Vegas would want a shootout in
their casino's. Bad PR if one of their
guests got injured. They'd rather let
the robbery take place and let them get
away with the loot, then let the cops
handle the situation. Money comes easy
to the casinos. A million bucks robbed
would be replaced in a matter of minutes,
maybe seconds.
DINK
Wow!
JOHNNY
Heavy!
LESTER
Besides I don't think their would be too
many folks cryin' over a gamblin' joint
getting ripped off.
Lester points to a spot on the blueprints and a specific
ballroom and the exit area that leads to a long corridor and
out onto a loading dock.
LESTER (cont'd)
Ok. This is the Crystal Ballroom.
Notice the exit into the corridor which
leads down to the loading dock. That'll
be our escape route and Bobby Joe here
will be waiting in the getaway car.
JOHNNY
This sounds really scary. I don't know.
Lester puts a gun in Johnny's face.
LESTER
You don't have much of a choice. You
know too much now.
The boys look up at Bobby Joe who is staring right through
them.
LESTER (cont'd)
What instruments do you play?
DINK
No way man, count me out dude.
JOHNNY
Me three.
Bobby Joe cocks his rifle and sticks it up Dink's nose.
DINK
I play guitar.
Bobby Joe sticks the gun up Johnny's nose.
JOHNNY
I'm a drummer. Oh, yeah. I also sing.
Lester picks up the phone and dials a number.
LESTER
That's all I wanted to know.
INT. MUSICIAN'S LOCAL UNION - SAME DAY
A twitty RECEPTIONIST picks up the phone.
RECEPTIONIST
Musician's Union Local #212. Can I help
you?
A pause.
RECEPTIONIST (cont'd)
Lester? Lester Buchanan is that you?
How have you been darlin'? Why, it's
been quite a long time. What have you
been up to? I must say, you left quite
an impression the last time we were
together.
She rubs her ass.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Lester's on the phone both Dink and Johnny have their arms
raised.
LESTER
Listen honey, ol' Lester needs you do to
him a big favor. Cleopatra's casino.
There's a highroller's event tonight.
Who's the singer and guitarist scheduled
in the Crystal Ballroom. Yeah, that's
right Crystal Ballroom.
He starts scribbling down some information.
LESTER (cont'd)
Thanks alot baby. You've been a big
help. I'll have to pay you a visit
sometime. Thanks honey, I'll spank ya
later.
He hangs up.
Betty steps out of the restroom wearing only a towel and
towel drying her hair.
Lester walks over to Betty pulls out a switchblade knife and
snaps it open. He starts to rub it over her face.
LESTER (CONT'D)
(to Betty)
What a pretty little face.
(to the boys)
I'll only say this once. Either you're
in or you're out. If you're out...
Lester sticks the knife at her throat.
LESTER (cont'd)
I'll kill all three of you.
BETTY
What's this all about?
Lester tosses Betty into a chair.
JOHNNY
They want us to rob a casino. If we
don't do it they'll kill us.
BETTY
Please, Johnny don't let them kill me!
Do what they say.
JOHNNY
Ok, we'll do it. But you better not hurt
her.
Lester starts to tie Betty to a chair.
LESTER
(to Betty)
When we get back after the job. We'll
let ya'll go.
(to Bobby Joe)
Get those boys out to the car. If they
give you any lip shoot Ôem.
Bobby Joe prods the boys out of the room.
BETTY
(pleading)
Johnny!
CUT TO:
INT. SEEDY RUNDOWN HOTEL - CONTINUOUS
Betty's completely tied to the chair. Lester finishes the
job by putting a piece of tape over her mouth. Her eyes are
filled with fear.
Lester begins to molest her, fondling her full breast and
biting her neck. He takes his knife out again and cuts holes
allowing her areolas to poke out and exposed from the towel.
LESTER
You're a sweet little filly.
Betty's eyes helplessly plead to Lester.
LESTER (cont'd)
What's the matter honey? Cat got your
tongue?
Lester stands.
LESTER (cont'd)
We'll have pick up where we left off a
bit later.
He exits the room leaving Betty hog tied to the chair.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
They're standing at an apartment door.
Bobby Joe knocks.
Some GUY answers the door. It's the real singer for the
event.
GUY
Yeah, what do you want? I got a gig
tonight and you're keeping me from it.
He's quickly overcome by Bobby Joe as they back him into his
apartment.
Lester forces Johnny and Dink into the apartment at gunpoint.
INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
LESTER
(to Johnny)
Hurry up and find this guys tuxedo and be
quick about it.
Johnny and Dink scrambles through the pad while Bobby Joe
ties up and gags the singer.
LESTER (cont'd)
Sorry to keep you from your gig. I'll be
sure to let then know your tied up for
the evening.
He puts his cigarette out on the guys face as he screams in
pain.
Johnny grabs the tux. They exit.
EXT. ANOTHER APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
Some huge FAT GUY answers the door.
Lester pulls a gun and backs the man into his apartment.
Bobby Joe grabs Johnny and Dink by the collar and enters the
apartment.
INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
LESTER
(to Dink)
Hurry it up!
Dink runs through the pad looking for this guys belongings
Lester pistil whips the fat guy and Bobby Joe begins to gag
him and tie him up.
INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Dink finds a selection of very nice guitars. Of the
selection Dink picks out the worst one, a corny looking
Jackson guitar.
DINK
Wow, nice ax.
Johnny finds the tux in the closet. He holds it up and it is
huge.
He sees the amp that he'll use at the gig. It's a small
Peavey combo amp.
DINK (cont'd)
I have to gig with that? No way!
LESTER
You'd rather stay here with him?
He points to the guitarist who is tied to a chair.
Dink grabs the amp and guitar.
INT. CONTINENTAL - CONTINUOUS
Dink and Johnny are slumped down in the back seat. Lester
drives and Bobby Joe's in the passenger seat with a gun fixed
on the boys.
LESTER
One more thing. You guys aren't going to
very convincing looking like Robert Plant
and Eddie Van Halen.
Lester pulls the car to a dead stop.
He laughs.
CUT TO:
EXT. BARBER SHOP - CONTINUOUS
A close-up of a red, white and blue spinning barber shop
pole.
INT. CONTINENTAL - CONTINUOUS
Johnny and Dink's jaws drop.
INT. CLEOPATRA'S CASINO - NIGHT
Johnny and Dink in tuxedo's and short cropped hairsprayed
hair walk through the lobby and toward the Crystal Ballroom.
They look like the Righteous Brothers.
Dink's swimming in his suit looking like he's stolen an
elephants tuxedo.
DINK
This is the absolute most humiliating
thing to ever happen to me.
JOHNNY
Ditto dude.
Lester wheels a case which carries the guitar and amp like a
trusting roady.
He also has plenty of guns and protective armor in the case.
Security is tighter than expected. The guards seem to be
checking everybody out.
LESTER
Don't do anything funny. Remember we got
your chick. And if you ever want to see
her again you better not screw up.
JOHNNY
(whispering to Lester)
Man, we aren't going to get in. It's
like a fortress.
LESTER
(whispering back to Johnny)
You better hope we do. Or you'll be the
first to get it.
They walk on.
LESTER (cont'd)
(shouting)
OK, everybody out of the way.
He pushes the case past the people who are waiting to get
inside.
LESTER (cont'd)
(shouting louder)
Make way for the band.
Like the red sea everyone parts for these Motley fools.
LESTER (cont'd)
Coming through. Coming through.
INT. CRYSTAL BALLROOM - CONTINUOUS
With much pomp and fanfare the room is set up. Banners and
bright flashing lights fill the room. The overall decor is
in country western fashion.
Johnny and Dink stop dead in their tracks.
JOHNNY
Country.
DINK
Music.
INT. MUSICIAN'S LOCAL UNION - SAME NIGHT
The receptionist is slumped over her desk in a pool of blood.
INT. CRYSTAL BALLROOM - CONTINUOUS
The band is onstage getting ready for the event. The
musicians onstage are tuning their instruments.
The highroller's begin to fill the room as the band begins to
strike up a country and western tune, Red River Valley.
Johnny pathetically sings along humiliated by his haircut.
JOHNNY
(singing)
Come and sit by my side if you love me.
Do not hasten to bid me adieu. But
remember the red river valley and the one
who has loved you so true.
Dink is humiliated by being forced to play the country diddy.
The highroller's are line dancing and Dink's about to throw
up.
That place is over flowing with the wealthy and well do to
dressed in cowboy outfits.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CRYSTAL BALLROOM - LATER SAME NIGHT
The band is playing another country tune, Blue Moon.
JOHNNY
(singing)
Blue moon I saw you standing alone.
Without a dream in my heart. Without a
love of my own.
They've had enough.
Dink hits bar chords with a distorted tone. The other
musicians look his way and are shocked.
LESTER
(reaching into his shirt)
What are you doing?
JOHNNY
Forget it.
DINK
This totally sucks.
JOHNNY
Totally.
The band stops playing as Lester reaches into his shirt to
get his gun.
Johnny goes over to the drum set and pushes the drummer off
the stool. He adjusts a drum set mic and makes it a vocal
mic.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Davie?
DINK
Yeah, Johnny?
JOHNNY
Are you ready?
DINK
Um huh.
JOHNNY
All right fellas.
Johnny shouts.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
Let's go.
He bashes the drums as they start to play the song, Ballroom
Blitz.
Dink cranks the volume.
The BASSIST a closet heavy metalist joins in.
The highroller's don't quite know what to make of it but...
One by one the rest of the band joins in. Eventually the
horn section jumps into a roaring version of the song.
The guests go crazy. A bunch of high to-do gamblers take to
the dance floor and begin to mosh.
Others scramble to the edge of the stage and head bang.
They're rockin' and fugin'.
Everybody joins in for the chorus.
EVERYONE
It's. It's a ballroom blitz. It's.
It's a ballroom blitz.
The song ends and everyone's applauding wildly.
DINK
Cool.
The MC of Cleopatra's takes the stage rather perplexed.
MC
Let's give a great big round of applause
for the band.
Everyone applauds.
MC (cont'd)
We'd like to thank all of our contestants
for a wonderful turn out.
Johnny and Dink are proud.
Suddenly trumpeters play a Romanesque piece which announces
the arrival of Cleopatra.
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
Lester opens the case and starts pulling out big guns. He
begins to put on full protective gear.
INT. CRYSTAL BALLROOM - CONTINUOUS
A group of MUSCLE MEN carry CLEOPATRA into the room as she
rides on a carriage decorated in roman style. She's
gorgeous.
They help her down from her pedestal and she gestures for the
muscle men to place the one million dollars on an altar which
sits right in front of the band.
Dink and Johnny can't believe their eyes.
Cleopatra hands the MC a scroll. He opens it and reads it to
himself.
MC
What's this? Ladies and gentlemen we
have an important announcement.
There's silence.
MC (cont'd)
We have a two way tie for first place.
Applause.
MC (cont'd)
There will be two first prizes awarded.
Another million dollars is carried in and placed on the
altar.
JOHNNY
No way!
DINK
Way!
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
Lester's ready to go. He picks up an AK7 and snaps off the
safety.
INT. CRYSTAL BALLROOM - CONTINUOUS
MC
Our winners tonight... each scoring a
total of 237 points are...
The MC looks over at Johnny gesturing for him to play a drum
role. Finally he gets it.
MC (cont'd)
Wilma Carter.
Applause as a spot light finds WILMA CARTER standing and
taking a bow.
MC (cont'd)
And Jerome Myers.
Applause as JEROME MYERS takes a bow and tosses his cowboy
hat. His rowdy buddies pat him on the back and toss him
around a bit.
Each of the winners head up to the stage to accept their
trophies and million bucks.
Applause as they each reach down into the individual piles of
cash grabbing as much as they can grasp.
Suddenly, Lester enters the picture toting his gun and waving
it about.
LESTER
(to the winners)
Put that money down. Do as I say.
They drop the money and back away.
LESTER (cont'd)
Nobody make any sudden moves.
First screams and then the people freeze as the place goes
silent.
LESTER (cont'd)
This will all be over before you know it.
Lester walks over to the pile of money and runs his hands
through it like he's running his hands through a horses mane.
Lester gestures with the gun for Dink and Johnny to get off
the stage and load up.
LESTER (cont'd)
Move it.
Dink grabs at a guitar case, jumps off stage and begins to
fill it with money. Johnny joins in.
They stuff the case with the highroller's money and snap the
case shut.
LESTER (cont'd)
(to the highroller's)
I'd like to thank each and everyone of
you for your contribution in making this
all possible.
(to the boys)
Let's go.
The trio exits the ballroom racing into the long corridor.
INT. LONG CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
They turn a corner and the guitar case flies opens, money
spilling everywhere.
LESTER
Hurry up you fools.
Johnny and Dink race to pick up the loose bills.
SECURITY GUARDS open the door to the corridor at the far end
of the hall. They start shooting.
JOHNNY
Dude, you said they'd have no guns!
DINK
Yeah, you said no guns.
LESTER
(while shooting back)
Shut up and hurry it up.
Bullets whiz by.
Lester shoots back and manages to kill a couple of the guards
as the rest seek cover back in the casino.
The boys scramble to load the case and they take off again.
(Dink still carrying the case.)
Further along the lengthy corridor a door opens in front of
Dink's path.
He races full speed into the door, slamming into it.
Much like a video war game another GUARD that was exiting the
door hits the ground hard.
LESTER (cont'd)
Were you wanting something hero?
Lester points his gun at the guard. He pulls the trigger and
the cartridge is empty.
GUARD
No.
Lester loads in a new cartridge of shells and shoots the
guard dead in cold blood.
Johnny helps Dink up.
DINK
What have we gotten ourselves into?
JOHNNY
I don't know. But one thing I do know is
we got to get ourselves out of it.
Lester shoves the boys forward.
LESTER
Get moving or I'll kill the both of you.
JOHNNY
No need for that. No need.
They take off again.
EXT. LOADING DOCK - CONTINUOUS
They race onto the loading dock. Bobby Joe sits in the
driver seat of the Lincoln. He's blaring the horn and
arguing with the DRIVER of a truck.
BOBBY JOE
(yelling from the Lincoln)
Get that truck out of the way. Move it!
Police sirens can be heard in the distance.
The truck is blocking the path of the Lincoln. There's no
escape route.
TRUCKER
(from his cab)
Fuck you.
He shoots a bird Bobby Joe's way.
Police sirens are getting closer to the casino.
BOBBY JOE
I'm warning you...
TRUCKER
Up yours.
Obviously this trucker does not understand the severity of
this situation.
BOBBY JOE
I'm telling you for the last time. Move
it.
TRUCKER
Stuff it pal.
LESTER
(to the boys)
Get in that car. Now!
There's no argument. They race to the Lincoln and jump in.
(Dink in the passenger seat as he tosses the case in the
backseat.)
LESTER (cont'd)
(to Bobby Joe)
What the hell is going on here?
BOBBY JOE
I asked him to move the truck. I asked
him politely. He won't listen to me.
The arriving cops are now almost on their ass as the sirens
are getting much closer.
LESTER
(to the truck driver)
Get that thing out of the way.
TRUCKER
Who's gonna make me asshole? You?
Lester starts to walk to the truck, matter of fact. Obviously
this guy has no idea that Lester has a gun.
LESTER
Who's gonna make you? I'll show you
who's gonna make you.
Lester steps on the fender well of the truck.
LESTER (cont'd)
Me, myself and I.
He shoots the trucker once in the middle of the forehead.
The trucker falls forward instantly dead. As he is falling
out of the truck Lester beats him with the truck door over
and over until his lifeless body falls to the ground.
Lester jumps in the truck to move it forward. The truck
accelerates forward running over the truckers body and
careening toward the exit door.
Three SECURITY GUARDS of the hotel begin to exit a doorway.
Lester hits the gas. The truck barrels into the wall and
crushes them to death.
Although bashed up, Lester jumps out and starts shooting.
The cops have arrived.
Bobby Joe slams the Lincoln in reverse attempting to back out
of the loading dock.
Too late. The cops start shooting at the Lincoln. Bullet
holes start to riddle the car.
Lester methodically maneuvers toward the police cars as a
blazing shoot-out breaks out.
One by one Lester walks straight up to police officers
exchanging gunfire and unloading bullets into the cops and
leaving lifeless corpses in his wake.
Bobby Joe pulls a .9mm and starts unloading at the cops. He
manages to take out a couple officers and then...
He's hit in the chest by a volley of fire. He falls to the
ground but continues to shoot. He manages to take out a few
more cops by shooting them in the legs. As they fall to the
ground he shoots them in the head.
An officer races to where Bobby Joe has tried to crawl to
safety and back into the Lincoln. The officer shoots one
shot in the back of Bobby Joe's head execution style.
He dies instantly as he falls back into the Lincoln and
sprawled across Dink's lap.
Just as the officer is about to take out Johnny and Dink,
Lester unloads a clip in the officers back.
INT. LINCOLN - CONTINUOUS
Johnny crouches down in the backseat as Dink ducks in the
passenger seat.
DINK
Oh, man. What are we going to do?
JOHNNY
Don't panic.
DINK
It's a little late for that. I'm
panicking.
A bullet rips by his head.
DINK (cont'd)
Extremely panicking.
JOHNNY
Let's get out of here Dink.
DINK
Oh, great. Just great. We're surrounded
by cops and I got a dead guy in my lap
staining my coolest jeans and that's all
you can come up with?
JOHNNY
Drive Dink. Just drive.
DINK
Don't call me Dink!
JOHNNY
Fine. Fine. Just take off. Get us out
of here.
DINK
I can't move this guy.
Another bullet rips past his head.
JOHNNY
Move it. Or loose it!
Dink struggles to pull Bobby Joe into the passenger seat as
bullets whiz by his head shattering all around him.
Crouching, he ducks down in the seat and slams the Lincoln in
reverse which puts the vehicle into the alley and right in
the middle of the volley of gunfire.
The Lincoln crashes into the door of a police cruiser.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Make tracks.
The car stalls as Dink continually tries to restart it.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Davie?
DINK
I'm trying. It won't start.
Finally the car starts and Dink speeds away. They're
targeted by two police officers as bullets crash through the
windows of the car.
They smash between two police cars as they speed away.
EXT. LOADING DOCK - CONTINUOUS
Lester continues to unload at the cops who now are like a
mass of swarming killer bees. They are everywhere dodging in
and out of hiding places trying to kill the maniac that is
shooting back.
It doesn't look good for Lester as he darts in and out from
behind the cop cars, shooting it out like a gunslinger from
hell. The remaining law enforcement officers close in on
him.
INT. LINCOLN - CONTINUOUS
The Lincoln speeds down the alley and swerves onto a main
drag in old downtown Vegas.
In a heightened state...
DINK
What are we going to do? What are we
going to do now?
JOHNNY
We got to go back to the hotel and get
Betty.
DINK
You're out of your mind. We got to ditch
this ride and get out of town. Forget
that chick.
JOHNNY
Listen, what we got to do is hang low.
Nobody can connect us to the robbery.
Nobody except this dead guy and like
Lester says, he ain't talking.
DINK
What about Lester?
JOHNNY
Lester looks like catsup covered Swiss
cheese by now.
DINK
I wish I was home. Forget Hollywood.
I'm going to drive us back home. Right
now!
JOHNNY
You're crazy. They'll have every road
out of Vegas blocked off. We ain't going
anywhere till things cool down. Besides
we can't leave Betty helplessly tied up
in a hotel room.
DINK
Like you haven't left chicks tied up in a
hotel room before?
JOHNNY
Yeah, well... sure. But that's
different.
DINK
I want to go home Johnny. I want to
sleep in a warm safe bed. I want to get
married and settle down and have a house
filled with kids.
(praying)
Dear God, I promise to go to church every
Sunday for now on. I swear it.
JOHNNY
It's a bit late for prayers don't you
think?
Dink stops the car.
He leaps into the backseat and starts to strangle Johnny.
DINK
Look at the mess you got me into.
JOHNNY
I can't breath. Let go. I can't breath.
DINK
That's the idea. You're not supposed to.
Johnny knees Dink in the balls. Dink lets go of Johnny's
throat and falls forward.
Johnny gasps for air.
JOHNNY
Dink you OK?
DINK
I'll get you for this Johnny. I'll get
even if it's the last thing I do.
JOHNNY
You got to get a hold of yourself. You
got to start acting rational.
DINK
Rational? Rational! I just committed
armed robbery in a casino. There are
dead cops strewn every which way in the
alley back there. Dead cops. You know
what dead cops mean? It means the
electric chair if we get caught. So I'm
sorry if I'm not acting rational. But
asking me to be rational under these
circumstances is extremely irrational.
Or does that sound a bit far fetched?
Dink sits up holding his balls.
JOHNNY
All I know dude is... if you lose it now
then we don't have any chance at all.
You need to calm down. Take a deep
breath and count to ten. Here, just
follow me. You'll feel much better.
Close your eyes.
DINK
Close my eyes?
JOHNNY
Yeah, close you eyes.
Johnny closes his eyes. Dink closes his eyes.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Just relax.
Johnny relaxes his whole body as Dink opens his eyes.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Ok. Now take a deep breath and count to
ten. One. Two. Three.
Dink slams his fist in Johnny's face. He grabs his fist and
screams.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Why'd you do that?
DINK
Because I don't feel like counting to
ten. Got any other ideas?
JOHNNY
Actually... No!
DINK
Then what are we going to do?
JOHNNY
First we got to get rid of the body.
DINK
And this car, every cop in town will be
looking for it.
JOHNNY
True dude. True.
EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
The Lincoln pulls into an alley. The car stops and the boys
get out. They peek and snoop around not wanting to be caught
dumping the body of Bobby Joe.
They drag the limp body to one of those big green trashcan.
They try to lift Bobby Joe's lifeless corpse into the
trashcan. He's weighs too much.
JOHNNY
Forget it. He's too heavy.
DINK
Let's just leave him here.
A drunken BUM walks down the alley toward them.
Johnny pushes Dink's face down toward Bobby Joe's head.
JOHNNY
Act like you're giving him mouth to
mouth.
Dink gagging does just that.
Johnny waves hello.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Hey, would you mind calling 911 for us?
We have a bit of an emergency here. We'd
really appreciate it.
The bum stops for a moment and watches and then continues on.
DINK
Yuck!
He spits, almost vomiting.
EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
At the other end of the street a cop car enters the alley and
begins to hassle the bum.
COP
Hey buddy what'cha up to?
BUM
There's two guys back there kissing a
dead guy.
COP
Yeah, and there's a pack of stampeding
Zebra's. Look out.
The cop goes his way.
EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
JOHNNY
Oh, man. We got to get him back to the
car and get out of here. Fast!
They drag the body to the car and stuff it in the trunk
before they speed away.
INT. LINCOLN - CONTINUOUS
JOHNNY
That was a close call.
DINK
I want my mommy.
JOHNNY
This is insane. Here we are riding
around Vegas with a dead guy in the
trunk, fugitives from justice. And all I
wanted to do was rock dude. Just rock.
Is that too much to ask?
DINK
Like, I have something to ask you?
JOHNNY
Like yeah, I'm all ears.
DINK
Got any other bright ideas?
EXT. STREET - SAME NIGHT
Driving along a back street in a seedy area they pass a
hotel.
JOHNNY
This looks as good a place as any.
DINK
Let's just dump him and forget him.
JOHNNY
Right on.
They exit the Lincoln.
EXT. PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
Johnny grabs one of those white laundry baskets and roles it
toward the Lincoln.
They snatch up Bobby Joe from the trunk and wheel through the
lobby of the hotel.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
A night CLERK spots the boys.
CLERK
Good your here. There's a pile of
towels out by the pool. Go and pick them
up and take them to laundry?
JOHNNY
We're kinda busy at the moment.
CLERK
They need to be picked up right away.
DINK
Right away?
CLERK
Right away!
They head out toward the pool area as the clerk watches.
INT. POOL AREA - CONTINUOUS
There is a pile of white towels as the clerk said.
Bobby Joe's starting to make a bloody mess out of the white
canvas cart.
JOHNNY
Hurry up and round up the towels.
They scramble to pick up the pool towels piling them on top
of Bobby Joe.
They continue on their way toward the back of the hotel.
EXT. BACK OF HOTEL - CONTINUOUS
They take Bobby Joe's body to a secluded wooded area and dump
it covering it with leaves.
JOHNNY
This should buy us a little time.
DINK
I sure hope so.
They begin to walk back to the Lincoln.
DINK (CONT'D)
Hold it!
Johnny freezes in his place. Raising his arms.
JOHNNY
We give up. We give up. Don't shoot.
DINK
What are you doing? It's cool. It's
only me.
JOHNNY
You almost scared me to death. Don't
ever do that again.
DINK
I meant hold it. Look over there.
Dink points to the parking lot.
JOHNNY
I can't believe my eyes!
Johnny's pink caddy is in the hotel parking lot. The drum
set and the surfboards are still in the backseat.
They race to the caddy.
DINK
It looks like all of our stuff is still
here.
DINK (CONT'D)
Now we can get rid of that car.
JOHNNY
Kill two birds with one stone.
DINK
Let's take the money and run.
They race to the Lincoln. Grab the guitar case and...
JOHNNY
Wait.
DINK
Wait for what? The second coming? We
got to get out of here.
JOHNNY
The keys. I don't have the keys.
DINK
(beaming)
Not to worry.
EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
They creep up to the caddy and Johnny tosses the guitar case
filled with the money into the backseat.
INT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
Dink's crawls under the dash in the driver seat
DINK
Just keep an eye out and make sure nobody
sees us.
JOHNNY
Nobody sees us? Sees us what? Stealing
my own car?
Dink's separating wires and trying to get the car started.
Johnny's in the passenger seat.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
Hurry up. Hurry up.
DINK
I'm going as fast as I can.
JOHNNY
Well make it snappy.
DINK
See if you can find something to cut
these wires.
Johnny opens the glovebox and looks for a pair of wire
cutters, pliers, anything.
JOHNNY
I can't find anything that would help.
DINK
Keep looking.
From outside of the car a hand reaches in and offers Johnny a
pair of wire cutters.
Johnny looks up and sees a huge BLACK MAN with his arms
folded looming over the car.
He looks over to the driver side and if it was at all
possible, a huger BLACK MAN stares him down.
JOHNNY
Uh, Dink. We got a problem.
DINK
Stop calling me Dink. Just get me
something to cut these wires would you?
Suddenly the big black guy grabs Dink by the shirt and starts
to yank him up.
Because of the way Dink is positioned in the car he keeps
getting slammed into the dashboard as the black guy lifts
him. Over and over.
DINK (cont'd)
Ouch. Ouch. Ohhh. Ouch.
One last yank and Dink is snatched out of the car and raised
over the black guys head, feet off the ground.
BLACK GUY
What you doin' with my bad ride?
JOHNNY
Your ride. It's my... whoa!
The other huge guy grabs Johnny, lifting him out of the car.
They're both now being held by the collar with their feet off
the ground.
BLACK MAN
(to Dink)
You stealin' my car? White boy!
DINK
No. You must be mistaken. I'm not
stealing your car sir.
JOHNNY
I think I can explain. You see that's my
drum set.
DINK
And those are our surfboards.
JOHNNY
You see we were on our way to California
to get tubed.
DINK
You know, drop in on some gnarly waves.
Know what I mean?
JOHNNY
Yeah, get barreled.
DINK
And to rock Ôn' roll.
JOHNNY
(sheepish)
We're gonna be rock stars.
DINK
Yeah.
JOHNNY
Lotsa babes.
DINK
I play guitar.
JOHNNY
And I'm a sing and I play drums.
DINK
Righteous drummer.
JOHNNY
Thanks Davie.
DINK
Anyway...
JOHNNY
What we're trying to say is...
BLACK MAN
Shut the hell up you pecker wood mutha
fucka!
JOHNNY
But that's my car.
The guy clamps down on Johnny.
BLACK MAN
Your car?
JOHNNY
Yeah, that's what we've been trying to
say. It's my car.
BLACK MAN
You calling me a thief?
JOHNNY
No, you just must be mistaken.
BLACK MAN TWO
Man, these white boys are calling you a
thief.
BLACK MAN
Let me understand what I'm hearing? If
you're saying I'm a thief then you must
be saying I'm a liar?
JOHNNY
No. No. I'm saying you just made a
mistake.
BLACK MAN TWO
Man, he's calling you a thief and a liar.
BLACK MAN
You calling me a thief and a liar?
JOHNNY
No way. I'm just saying...
DINK
We must've made a mistake.
JOHNNY
A huge mistake.
BLACK MAN
You made a big mistake alright. White
boy!
JOHNNY
Yeah, we made a big mistake. We're very
sorry to have inconvenienced you.
DINK
Yeah, we're sorry.
BLACK MAN
(squeezing tighter around
Dink's neck)
You're sorry alright.
BLACK MAN TWO
You're the sorriest mutha fucka I ever
ran across.
DINK
(barely able to talk)
This is true. I must agree.
Dink gets socked in the jaw. He hits the ground and goes out
like a light.
Johnny gets socked in the jaw. He too hits the ground and
goes out like a light.
EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT - A LITTLE LATER
The caddy pulls away with the black guys in it. The boards,
the drum set and although they don't know it. The money too!
INT. SEEDY HOTEL - NIGHT
The hotel door slams open.
Lester enters. He's gut shot and a bloodied mess.
He walks over to where Johnny's red, white and blue bandana
is lying on the table and he uses it to stop the bleeding
from a gunshot would on his arm.
He then walks over to Betty who's still tied to the chair.
LESTER
Where are those idiots?
He rips the tape off of her mouth.
BETTY
Ouch!
LESTER
I said where are they?
BETTY
(no longer speaking with her
cute little southern bell
flare)
You fool. You stupid fool. Are you
telling me you let them get away?
LESTER
I couldn't help it. There were cops
everywhere. It was like shooting my way
out of a wild west picture show. They
took off in the getaway car and left me
stranded.
BETTY
I stayed here tied up to this chair all
night long for you to show your face just
to tell me you dropped the ball?
LESTER
Give me a break would ya? Cut me some
slack. There were bullets flyin'
everywhere. The guards weren't supposed
to have guns. And those two idiots
didn't help matters by fowling up the
plans.
BETTY
I should have gotten me a real man.
LESTER
What do you mean by that?
BETTY
Someone who could follow simple
instructions.
LESTER
What are you saying?
BETTY
I'm saying untie me. Untie me right now.
LESTER
I'll kill Ôem. I swear it. I'll kill
Ôem.
BETTY
You'll get your chance. That is if they
haven't out foxed you and made off with
the money.
LESTER
Naw. They'll be back.
BETTY
And what makes you so sure?
LESTER
What man could resist a black widow like
yourself. They'll be back alright.
BETTY
Lester, where's Bobby Joe?
LESTER
He's dead.
BETTY
Dead? Are you sure?
LESTER
Yeah, I saw him take a bullet in the
head.
BETTY
You better be sure. Because what if he
talks?
LESTER
Dead men ain't got anything to tell.
BETTY
The best laid plans of mice and men. You
simpleton. How could you screw this up?
The cops! What about the cops?
LESTER
Geez, I must have blown away a couple
dozen of Ôem.
BETTY
That's just terrific. A simple robbery
that should have gone off smooth and now
we can add murder to it.
LESTER
Murder? What did you plan to do with the
idiots? Cut them in on the deal?
BETTY
We'd be doing the world a big favor
getting rid of them. Do you think you
can handle that? Or do I have do to
everything?
LESTER
Shut up. Just shut the hell up and let
me think.
BETTY
A million dollars down the drain because
you couldn't keep your end of the
bargain.
LESTER
Two million.
BETTY
What did you say?
LESTER
Two million. They got away with two
million dollars.
She's ballistic now. Jumping and trying to get untied as
she...
BETTY
You stupid, ignorant, son of a bitch.
You bastard. You incompetent fool.
Lester sticks the tape back over her mouth as she tries to
scream more insulting words his way.
EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT - A LITTLE LATER
Johnny and Dink are still unconscious and sprawled out on the
ground of the hotel's parking lot.
They raise their heads at the same time.
Dink has a big black eye and they're both stripped to their
ridiculous shorts.
Dink's wearing Led Zeppelin boxers and Johnny in bright green
briefs.
DINK
(moaning)
Great. Just great. They got the money
and the car. Now what?
JOHNNY
I guess the least we can do is go back to
the hotel and save Betty. We'll free her
and then say our good-byes. You're right
Davie it's time we faced the facts. Time
to head back home.
They stand.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Well, Johnny. I've been thinking. Maybe
you're right. We did make a pact right?
Hollywood or bust. And I'd have to
concede standing here in our underwear
and nothing else. We've reached busted.
They walk toward the road as passersby notice how ridiculous
they look in their underwear and walking along the road.
DINK
I took busted to mean... by the cops.
JOHNNY
Look we gave it out best shot. Right?
And our best was just not good enough.
DINK
Johnny, you're the best singer there is.
Well, except Ozzie, and Plant. And Dio.
And...
JOHNNY
I get the point dude. I don't know
Davie. Maybe it's time I realize the
truth. Maybe it's time I face the facts.
DINK
How can you say that?
JOHNNY
Face it. I ain't got what it takes to
make it big.
DINK
Yeah? Well, you saw how those folks
reacted at the casino. Right? And if we
can make those stiff shirts rock. We can
find our niche where we belong.
The stop walking and face each other.
JOHNNY
Hollywood.
DINK
Hollywood or bust. Right?
JOHNNY
Right on.
They do a really stupid and lengthy hand shake and hug.
They walk up to the Lincoln.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Boy, I sure could use a doob right now.
DINK
Yeah, me three.
EXT. SEEDY HOTEL PARKING LOT - LATER SAME NIGHT
The Lincoln pulls into the parking lot.
JOHNNY
Ok, like we just get in there and rescue
Betty... Say our farewells...
DINK
And make tracts pronto.
They exit the car.
JOHNNY
For sure.
INT. SEEDY HOTEL PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
Johnny and Dink enter the hotel room.
The lights are out.
Johnny runs over to where Betty is tied to the chair. He
begins to untie her.
JOHNNY
We got to get out of here.
As soon as Betty is untied.
A light goes on in the room.
Lester is sitting in a chair with a gun pointed at the boys.
LESTER
Goin' somewhere?
They start to leave.
JOHNNY
Yeah, well. Goodbye. It was nice
knowing you.
Lester gets up and blocks their path.
LESTER
I've had enough of you two. Where's the
money?
Johnny and Dink still standing in their underwear...s
DINK
Oh, no. Heavy, heavy.
JOHNNY
Some really big black guys got it.
LESTER
(screaming)
Where is the money?
BETTY
(in her southern guise)
Tell him where you put the money. He's
crazy. He'll kill us all.
She throws her arms around Johnny.
DINK
Really, some black cats got it.
JOHNNY
Yeah, we thought we saw our car. But we
made a mistake.
DINK
Yeah, there stuff looked alot like ours.
JOHNNY
Even their surfboards had an uncanny
resemblance to our own.
LESTER
So you take off like a bunch of cowards
and leave me to shoot it out with the
cops?
DINK
No, not really.
JOHNNY
Yeah, we thought you were dead for sure.
LESTER
So humour me. Tell me what happened to
the money?
JOHNNY
Sure.
DINK
OK. We were trying to ditch the Lincoln.
JOHNNY
Yeah, and then we saw our caddy.
Dink corrects Johnny.
DINK
What we thought was our caddy.
JOHNNY
What we thought was my caddy.
DINK
With our surfboards.
Johnny corrects Dink.
JOHNNY
What we thought were our surfboards
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
And my drum set.
DINK
What we thought was his drum set.
They shake their heads yes.
LESTER
(boiling)
Where is my money?
BETTY
Tell him. Please!
JOHNNY
We're trying to tell you. We saw what we
thought was our car and Dink tried to
hotwire it.
DINK
But some big black dudes.
Johnny raises his hands to show that they are really big
guys.
DINK (cont'd)
Really angry guys I might add.
JOHNNY
Yeah, like really really angry guys.
DINK
Maybe like ex-convicts, or...
JOHNNY
Bank robbers!
Lester pulls back the hammer of his gun.
BETTY
Please, give him the money!
LESTER
Are you telling me you two ran into a
couple of guys that had a car that looked
a whole lot like your car and they had
stuff in it that looked a whole lot like
your stuff? And you let them get away
with the money?
JOHNNY
Yeah, that's what we're saying.
DINK
Wow, you catch on quick.
BETTY
Johnny, it must have been your car.
LESTER
You idiots. It was your car.
JOHNNY
No way.
DINK
Way. I kinda had my suspicions when I
noticed the same name on the drum set as
ours. It would be too coincidental that
they had the same band name.
LESTER
You expect me to believe this pack of
lies?
DINK
Really. It's true.
JOHNNY
Anyway, to make a long story longer, they
punched us out and got away with...
DINK
The money.
JOHNNY
The car.
DINK
The stash.
JOHNNY
My drum set.
DINK
Even the surfboards.
JOHNNY
What about your pick collection?
DINK
Yeah, that too. But not my guitar
because it was already gone.
LESTER
I'll kill you.
BETTY
He means it.
LESTER
I'm only going to ask you one last time.
Where is the money?
JOHNNY
Really, dude. They got away with it.
BETTY
Maybe they're telling the truth. Which
way did they go? It can't be too
difficult to find a pink Cadillac in
Vegas.
JOHNNY
Yeah, we'll show you where the hotel is.
DINK
Maybe they're back by now?
LESTER
Let's go.
Lester gestures with the gun for them to head for the car.
INT. LINCOLN - CONTINUOUS
Johnny drives as Lester holds the gun at his side. Betty and
Dink are in the back seat.
EXT. ROADSIDE - SAME NIGHT
The black cats race down the highway with the boys caddy.
The driver tosses a beer can out the window.
BLACK MAN
Man, them white boys are about as dumb as
the day is long.
BLACK MAN TWO
We really showed them.
Suddenly police lights flash from behind. The passenger
turns around.
BLACK MAN TWO (CONT'D)
It's the fuzz.
BLACK MAN
Damn.
BLACK MAN TWO
I told you to slow down in school zones.
BLACK MAN
It's in the middle of the night.
BLACK MAN TWO
Man, them cops will find any excuse to
pull over a black man.
BLACK MAN
Maybe I should just outrun him?
BLACK GUY TWO
Nah, jus' pull over and play it by ear.
The cop gets out of his car.
COP
You fellas know how fast you were going
back there?
BLACK MAN
No sir, officer.
COP
You were going thirty-five in a school
zone.
BLACK MAN
C'mon officer. Ain't nobody goin' to
school in the middle of the night.
COP
Ever heard of night school?
A shot of the case of money in the backseat.
The driver hands the cop his license.
COP (cont'd)
I'll be right back. You just sit tight.
He walks back to his patrol car.
There is a partner in the seat next to him. A ROOKIE officer
learning the ropes from this cop.
The cop jumps in his car.
INT. COP CAR - CONTINUOUS
COP
We got us a couple of unsavory
characters.
He makes a radio call.
COP (cont'd)
Flash towing? Get me Abe.
The cop smiles at the rookie.
COP (cont'd)
Abe? Howdy. This is Hamilton. We got a
tow for you out here on Hope Ave.
He hangs up.
COP (cont'd)
The pay ain't the greatest. But the
perks you get from kickbacks more than
covers the deficiencies.
He returns to the caddy.
EXT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
COP
There's about three hundred outstanding
parking violations on this vehicle
mister. I'm afraid I'm going to have to
impound it.
BLACK MAN
Man.
COP
Step out of the car please sir.
INT. LINCOLN - CONTINUOUS
The Lincoln passes the hotel where they spotted the pink
Cadillac.
JOHNNY
That's where we spotted the caddy.
DINK
Yeah, that's the spot.
BETTY
Are you sure?
LESTER
I don't see no pink Cadillac. Keep
goin'.
JOHNNY
That's the hotel. I swear it.
DINK
Yeah, we were dumping the body in the
woods when we...
LESTER
What was that?
JOHNNY
We were dumping Bobby Joe's body in the
woods.
DINK
And on the way back we saw the caddy.
LESTER
Pull in.
The Lincoln pulls into the parking lot.
It parks.
LESTER (cont'd)
I should kill you right now.
He waves the gun at the two fools.
LESTER (cont'd)
Show me where you put Bobby Joe.
JOHNNY
Over there.
He points to the wooded area.
LESTER
Get out.
They all get out.
LESTER (cont'd)
You take my brother's body and toss him
off into the woods and leave him without
so much as a prayer. We're going to get
that body. Now. Move it!
They head for the woods.
EXT. WOODS - A LITTLE LATER
Johnny points to where Bobby Joe was laid.
JOHNNY
Over there. We put him under a pile of
leaves.
LESTER
Drag him to the car. And be quick about
it.
They struggle to carry Bobby Joe to the Lincoln.
EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT - A LITTLE LATER
Bobby Joe is tossed into the trunk.
LESTER
As soon as we find that pink Cadillac and
the money. We'll take him out to the
desert and give him a decent burial.
They close the trunk.
LESTER (cont'd)
See ya later Bobby Joe.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
The black guys walk along the highway.
BLACK MAN TWO
I told you. Never speed through a school
zone.
BLACK MAN TWO (cont'd)
Shut up!
They walk on.
INT. LINCOLN - CONTINUOUS
Johnny drives as Lester again has the gun in his ribs.
LESTER
You stupid son's a bitches. How could
you let those guys get away with the
money?
JOHNNY
Maybe we should just go back to the hotel
and wait for the guys to return?
LESTER
Shut up you fool. I'm thinking.
The Lincoln continues on its way when suddenly a tow truck
towing the caddy in the opposite direction passes them.
DINK
There it is!
BETTY
The car.
LESTER
Are you sure?
BETTY
Yeah, that's it.
LESTER
Turn around quickly.
Johnny whips the Lincoln around. They follow the tow truck.
LESTER (cont'd)
Tail it. You better not loose it if you
know what's good for you.
They follow the caddy through town.
A light turns red. Johnny stops.
LESTER (cont'd)
What the hell are you doing?
JOHNNY
I already got three tickets. If I get
another I'll have a suspended license.
The tow truck moves further along while the Lincoln sits
idle.
Lester puts his foot on the gas as the Lincoln ram rods its
way through traffic. (Cars screeching tires, horns blaring.)
LESTER
Follow that tow truck and don't loose it.
JOHNNY
Dude, don't loose your cool.
LESTER
You boys better pray the money's still in
that car.
Dink begins to pray.
DINK
God is great. God is good. Let us thank
him for our food. Amen.
They follow the truck catching up to it just as it is pulling
into a police impound yard.
LESTER
(sinking)
Damn.
JOHNNY
Now what?
LESTER
We go get that car. That's what!
Lester shoves the gun in Johnny's ribs.
EXT. TOW YARD - CONTINUOUS
The Lincoln pulls into the tow yard.
LESTER
Let's go.
BETTY
Don't argue with him. Just do as he
says.
JOHNNY
Anything for you Betty.
They all exit the car.
EXT. TOW YARD - CONTINUOUS
The greasy and rundown tow yard is surrounded by bob-wire and
viciously barking dogs. The lot is also filled with broken
down police cars.
They pass a sign that reads, Beware OF The Dogs as they
enter.
INT. TOW YARD - CONTINUOUS
The foursome walk up to a window where a filthy MECHANIC sits
watching a TV and eating a disgusting cornbeef sandwich.
He drips a mess onto his chin and wipes it on his sleeve.
MECHANIC
What can I do you for?
LESTER
(panicking)
You got a pink caddy?
MECHANIC
Let me check.
Ever so slow he begins to look through a huge stack of papers
with his greasy hands.
LESTER
We know its here we saw it come in just a
few minutes ago.
MECHANIC
Hold on.
The mechanic looks out toward the yard.
MECHANIC (cont'd)
Yeah. Looks like one just came in?
LESTER
We came to get it.
The mechanic goes over some papers.
LESTER (cont'd)
Hurry it up mister we ain't got all day.
MECHANIC
I'll be right with you.
Again he looks through a stack of papers.
MECHANIC (CONT'D)
It's gonna cost you $159.00 clams.
LESTER
$159.00 dollars? I don't have $159.00
dollars.
MECHANIC
Then I guess you ain't gettin' the car.
Lester fumbles through his wallet.
LESTER
Here I got a hundred twelve bucks.
The mechanic shakes his head no.
LESTER (cont'd)
Look, I'll owe you the rest.
The mechanic shakes his head no.
LESTER (cont'd)
(to Johnny)
How much you got?
JOHNNY
I'm tapped.
LESTER
(to Dink)
You!
Dink fumbles through his pockets.
DINK
I got eight.
Lester snatches it from him.
LESTER
Here. A hundred and twenty bucks.
The mechanic shakes his head no.
MECHANIC
Nope.
LESTER
I got a visa. Will you take my visa?
The mechanic points to a sign that reads, No Checks. No
Credit. Cash Only.
LESTER (cont'd)
(to Betty)
Help me out here.
Betty reaches between her breasts and pulls out some money.
She hands him a wad of dough.
BETTY
Satisfied?
Lester slams the money on the counter.
MECHANIC
You got the registration papers?
LESTER
Registration papers?
MECHANIC
I can't give you the car without proof of
ownership.
LESTER
(to Johnny)
You got the registration?
JOHNNY
I should get it any day now. And then my
folks can mail it to me.
LESTER
Look we ain't got it. How about you give
us the car and we bring it to you first
thing tomorrow?
MECHANIC
I can't release the vehicle without proof
of ownership. That's final.
LESTER
You want proof of ownership? I'll show
you proof of owner ship.
Lester pulls out a gun and shooting through the glass window
he unloads it into the mechanic.
LESTER (cont'd)
How's that for proof of ownership?
EXT. TOW YARD - CONTINUOUS
Lester races through the door into the yard and toward the
caddy.
A pack of angry, growling dogs begin to chase him. They bite
and tear at his pant legs and ass as he tries to get to the
car.
BANG. BANG. The sound of whining dogs is heard.
Lester's now all chewed up. He crawls his way to the caddy,
opens the door and sees the guitar case still in the
backseat.
He checks to see if the money is there. It is.
He jumps in turns the key and drives through the automatic
gate exiting onto the street.
INT. TOW YARD - CONTINUOUS
JOHNNY
Let's get out of here. While we still
can.
DINK
You don't have to tell me twice.
BETTY
You ain't goin' anywhere.
They turn and find Betty holding a revolver and pointed at
them.
JOHNNY
Betty?
BETTY
If you don't want to end up like this guy
you better just do as your told.
Lester pulls up to the front of the towing yard.
BETTY (cont'd)
Let's go.
She picks up the money on the counter and stuffs it into her
shirt.
She nudges them forward and toward the door.
EXT. TOW YARD - CONTINUOUS
They walk toward the caddy.
BETTY
(to Lester)
You got the money?
LESTER
Yeah. Look like it's all there.
BETTY
Good lets get out of here. This place
gives me the creeps.
LESTER
Not so fast. I ain't leavin' Bobby Joe
here.
BETTY
You boys get that body and be quick about
it.
At gunpoint they go to the Lincoln and then toss Bobby Joe in
the caddy.
Betty shoves the boys into the backseat.
The car takes off.
JOHNNY
(to Betty)
So you're in on this? In on this all the
time!
BETTY
Brilliant observation Einstein.
DINK
(to Johnny)
You're Jewish?
BETTY
Shut up both of you.
LESTER
We need to get rid of Bobby Joe's body.
BETTY
Why are we dragging this corpse all over
town anyway?
LESTER
If they connect him to the robbery, then
they can connect us to him.
BETTY
I see. It's crystal clear now.
LESTER
No body.
BETTY
No connection.
JOHNNY
Where do we come in?
DINK
Yeah, where do we come in?
LESTER
(laughing)
Like I said. No body. No connection.
Betty and Lester laugh.
DINK
You got the money.
JOHNNY
Just let us go.
DINK
We won't tell.
BETTY
Shut up and hand me that case.
Dink hands Betty the guitar case with the money.
She opens it up.
LESTER
Two million dollars.
BETTY
Cash. Money.
They kiss.
Johnny feels like a fool.
LESTER
So you little bastards really thought
you'd have you way with my gal? All
along thinking that you'd get the chance
to bang her pretty little beaver didn't
you?
I'll bet you've been aching all over to
add some cream to her coffee. Didn't
you? I got news for you, it takes a real
man to satisfy my sweet li'l gal.
Lester throws his arm around Betty.
EXT. HOTEL HIDE OUT - LATER SAME NIGHT
Lester tosses a couple of shovels into the caddy as Betty
holds a gun on the boys.
INT. CADDY - SAME NIGHT
The caddy barrels along Route 66.
LESTER
Even though you boys fouled up the whole
thing. I gotta hand it to you.
JOHNNY
Hand it to us?
LESTER
Yeah, I couldn't have pulled it off
without you.
BETTY
I guess we oughta be thanking you for all
the trouble we caused you.
LESTER
But, we aren't very sentimental so, we're
going to have you help us bury ol' Bobby
Joe here and then send you on your merry
way.
JOHNNY
You mean you're going to let us go?
DINK
Go as in leave and never have to see you
again?
Lester and Betty look at each other. Obviously a look like
there is no way these boys will get out of this alive.
BETTY
So just sit back and relax. Enjoy the
ride. It'll all be over before you know
it.
LESTER
You can say that again.
BETTY
It'll all be over before you know it.
The caddy gets a flat tire. The car swerves into the
oncoming lane. Lester gets control of the car.
BETTY
Now what?
LESTER
A flat tire.
Lester pulls the caddy over.
BETTY
You boys got a spare tire back there?
JOHNNY
Well, actually I was meaning to get one.
LESTER
(slamming the steering wheel)
Goddamn it. Don't you do anything right?
JOHNNY
How was I to know we'd get a flat tire.
LESTER
No registration. No spare tire. And you
think you'd really make it to Hollywood
like that?
JOHNNY
Well, yeah.
LESTER
We got to get a spare.
BETTY
I know what to do.
She straightens her hair, roles up her top and walks to the
edge of the road.
She stuffs her gun into her shorts.
BETTY (cont'd)
Let a pro handle this.
A car's headlights are seen coming up on them in the
distance.
Betty doesn't have to wave the car down. It pulls over.
LESTER
Shit!
It's a cop car.
LESTER (cont'd)
You boys say anything and I'll kill you
on the spot.
The cop exits his car.
JOHNNY
(whispering)
Hey, Davie. Look who it is?
DINK
(whispering)
No way.
JOHNNY
(whispering)
Way.
It's the cop who stole Dink's guitar.
LESTER
You boys pipe down and let us handle
this.
COP
(to Betty)
Howdy. Looks like you're in a fix?
BETTY
Yes, we have a flat tire and we don't
have a spare. Would you mind helping us?
COP
Why surely Ma'am.
The cop pulls off one of the hubcaps.
COP (cont'd)
Five spokes. You're in luck.
BETTY
Thank you officer. You're so kind.
COP
Seems to me I've seen this car somewhere?
BETTY
Oh, you must be mistaken. We're new in
town.
The cop stands up.
COP
Yeah, I'm almost positive that I've seen
this car somewhere before.
Then the cop notices the boys in the backseat.
COP (cont'd)
You! I thought you'd be smart enough to
leave town by now.
JOHNNY
So did we sir.
DINK
There's nothing I'd rather do sir.
The cop flashes his flash light on Lester and then Bobby Joe.
COP
What's his problem?
LESTER
(acting as if he's gay)
He's just had a bit woozy, too much to
drink tonight officer. That's all.
Lester throws his arms around Bobby Joe and gives him a good
hug.
COP
(to himself)
Damn fags.
The cop light shines his flash light on Bobby Joe to get a
better look.
COP (cont'd)
Are you sure he's alright?
LESTER
Oh, yes. Too much excitement for one
night.
COP
No, he looks a bit peaked.
LESTER
Surely officer. He'll be fine just as
soon as we get him back home. Tuck him
in and let him get a good night sleep.
The cop moves in closer shining the flashlight in Bobby Joe's
eyes.
COP
He's dead.
The cop pulls out his gun.
COP (cont'd)
Don't make a move any of you.
Lester fingers his gun but does not make a move.
COP (cont'd)
Make a move and I'll splatter you all
over the dash.
The cop notices the guitar case on the passenger seat.
COP (cont'd)
Well, let's see what we have here?
As he opens the snaps on the guitar case...
COP (cont'd)
(to Dink)
Maybe I'll get real lucky and find a
vintage Thinline this time?
He opens the case and sees the money. His jaw drops.
COP (cont'd)
Looks like I stumbled into a bunch of
casino robbers?
Lester pulls out his gun and points it at the cop's face.
The cop puts his gun in Lester's face.
COP (cont'd)
Personally I don't really care what you
done. All I want is the money.
LESTER
Mister we went through hell and back to
get that money. You think I'm just going
to hand it over to you.
COP
I don't think you got much of a choice.
Either hand it over peaceably and go your
way, or I'll take it and turn you in.
So, what's it going to be?
The cop pulls his pin back. But from behind Betty puts her
gun at the back of the cop's head and pulls back the firing
pin.
BETTY
Alright mister smarty pants we heard just
about all we car to here. Hand over your
gun real slow or I'll splatter your
brains all over the dash.
Lester howls up a storm.
LESTER
Real slow. Or I'll shoot your nose off.
Johnny and Dink are peeking through their hands.
JOHNNY
You better do as they say.
DINK
Yeah, they're cop killers.
COP
No kidding.
The cop slowly lowers his hand as Lester take his gun.
LESTER
You sorry so and so.
COP (cont'd)
Listen, I ain't got no beef with ya'll.
BETTY
A crooked cop. Nothin' worse than a
crooked cop. Don't make any sudden
moves. I'm real trigger happy.
LESTER
(to Betty)
Handcuff him.
COP
Hell, you don't have to go and do that.
LESTER
Shut up!
Lester places his gun on the cops temple.
Betty takes the cops cuffs and handcuffs his hands behind his
back.
BETTY
You into the rough stuff mister?
She lifts him up and roughly yanks him toward his car.
Lester jumps out and clamors across the hood of the caddy.
He takes the cops keys and goes to the trunk and opens it.
LESTER
You.
(to Dink)
Get this tire out of here and get to
work.
DINK
Why me!
Dink gets out of the caddy.
COP
What do you plan to do with me?
BETTY
Well if you behave yourself we'll just
leave you here.
LESTER
If you don't behave yourself. I'll think
of somethin' else. Somethin' you won't
much be inclined to agree with.
They push the cop toward the trunk of his squad car.
Lester tosses the keys to Dink.
LESTER (cont'd)
Open the trunk.
Just as Dink opens the trunk he sees his guitar case.
DINK
That's my guitar?
LESTER
Forget the guitar or I'll fill you full
of lead.
DINK
No way. I want my guitar. I'm not
leaving it here.
LESTER
Forget the guitar. Where you're going
you won't need it.
DINK
No way. I want my guitar and that's
that.
Betty goes to the back of the caddy.
BETTY
What the hell is going on back here?
LESTER
This idiot wants his guitar.
BETTY
So let him have it.
LESTER
I'll let him have it.
Lester nudges his gun toward Dink. Then he kicks Dink in the
shins.
Dink hops, yelping in pain.
BETTY
I meant let him have his guitar.
Dink takes his guitar case out of the trunk and opens the
case. He sees his guitar is still in perfect condition.
He hugs it.
Lester shoves the cop in the trunk as Dink takes his guitar
over to Johnny.
JOHNNY
I'll take good care of it Davie.
LESTER
Now get back here and get this tire and
jack. And get busy fixing that flat.
Dink takes out the tire and jack.
Lester closes the trunk.
LESTER (cont'd)
Hurry up and get that tire changed.
Dink starts working on the flat tire.
The bolts won't budge.
He tries really hard to turn them and only manages to scrape
his knuckles off.
DINK
Yeoow.
LESTER
What's wrong now?
DINK
They won't come off.
LESTER
You.
(to Johnny)
Get out here and help get that tire
changed.
Johnny jumps out and tries to help Dink.
Finally the tire is changed.
BETTY
Time to move.
LESTER
There's a bit of unfinished business.
Lester goes to the cops trunk and unloads a clip into the
trunk of the cop car.
LESTER (cont'd)
Asta la vegas baby.
EXT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
They pass the sign. Meteor Sight 5 miles ahead.
INT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
JOHNNY
Now what?
LESTER
Now we find a nice resting place to bury
Bobby Joe.
DINK
And what about us?
JOHNNY
What will happen to us?
LESTER
Just do as you're told and this will all
be over before you know it.
EXT. METEOR SIGHT DIRT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
The caddy turns down the road that leads to the meteor sight.
EXT. METEOR SIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The caddy pulls to a stop near the meteor sight entrance.
At exactly the same parking spot where this all began less
than a day earlier.
LESTER (cont'd)
Get out.
They get out.
LESTER (cont'd)
You two carry Bobby Joe and follow me.
Lester carries the shovels, limping from his dog bit wounds
as they start to walk up the steep hill toward the meteor
sight office.
Johnny and Dink struggle with Bobby Joe.
EXT. FENCED AREA OF THE METEOR SIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The boys continue to struggle carrying Bobby Joe. They reach
the fence.
DINK
I can't carry him any further.
LESTER
You'll carry him or you'll be sorry.
Lester tosses a pair of wire cutters at the boys.
LESTER (cont'd)
Cut a hole in the fence.
BETTY
And be quick about it.
Johnny cuts a hole in the fence.
LESTER
Get him in there.
He gestures for them to carry Bobby Joe into the fenced area.
They begin to drag Bobby Joe through the fence.
EXT. INSIDE THE METEOR HOLE - CONTINUOUS
Johnny and Dink drag Bobby Joe down into the meteor.
They slip and then they tumble down the steep hole along with
Bobby Joe.
They are exhausted and covered in the sandy dirt.
DINK
I can't go any further. I got to rest.
BETTY
You'll rest when you're dead.
LESTER
Get up.
Lester kicks Dink.
DINK
I can't!
LESTER
Get up!
Lester starts to kick Dink again. Johnny intervenes.
JOHNNY
Leave him alone. What? Are you a couple
of animals? Is all you care about is
that money? And when its all gone. Then
what? More death? More killings?
LESTER
I've had about all I can take from you.
Either he gets up or he'll never get up
again.
Johnny puts out his hand for Dink to take.
JOHNNY
Get up. For God sakes get up.
Dink reaches out and takes Johnny's hand. Johnny pulls him
up.
DINK
I'm afraid Johnny.
A couple of shovels are tossed at their sides.
LESTER
Start digging.
BETTY
And dig fast.
LESTER
Yeah, this hole's got to be deep enough
to hide three bodies.
DINK
There is no way that I am going back to
carry another body down here.
JOHNNY
Me either, I've had it.
LESTER
(laughing)
Who said anything about other bodies.
DINK
Do you mean?
LESTER
What else would I mean?
Dink counts Bobby Joe and then Johnny.
DINK
I only count two.
JOHNNY
You forgot to count yourself.
Dink recounts. He's got it right now.
It finally sinks in what is happening.
DINK (cont'd)
This sucks.
JOHNNY
Totally sucks.
LESTER
Ain't it a cryin' shame. Now start
diggin'.
The boys start to dig a deep hole.
Johnny shovels dirt into the hole where Dink is busy removing
it.
LESTER (cont'd)
Hurry it up and stop clowning around.
EXT. INSIDE THE METEOR - CONTINUOUS
The hole is getting deeper.
EXT. INSIDE THE METEOR - CONTINUOUS
The hole is very deep now.
LESTER
Now, get Bobby Joe in there and hurry it
up.
The sun is just about to rise on the eastern horizon.
Johnny and Dink struggle to pull Bobby Joe down into the
makeshift grave.
JOHNNY
Now what?
LESTER
Now say your prayers.
Dink falls to his knees and folds his hands in silent prayer.
JOHNNY
Wait. Wait. Isn't there something we
can do to work this out?
LESTER
Humour me. What do you have in mind?
JOHNNY
You can have my car.
LESTER
I already got your car.
DINK
You can keep all the money?
LESTER
I already got all the money. What else
can you possibly offer me?
JOHNNY
How about a song?
DINK
I'd really like to play my guitar. Just
one last time.
Lester looks over at Betty.
BETTY
No way. I heard their music.
LESTER
Request denied. Time for lights out.
Lester starts to shovel dirt into the grave. He's burying
them alive.
JOHNNY
No.
DINK
This is all too heavy and completely not
fair at all.
Lester continues to shovel dirt onto the boys. As he sticks
the shovel into the dirt and raises it again...
The sound of a single gunshot is heard.
Lester stops shoveling and the dirt falls from the shovel.
He contorts and slowly turns and falls to his knees which
reveals a smoking gun in Betty's hand.
BETTY
So long sucker.
Lester drops to his knees.
LESTER
Why?
BETTY
Because the thought of you ever touching
me again makes my stomach turn.
Betty puts her foot on his chest.
BETTY (cont'd)
You're not worthy of tying my shoe laces.
She roughly pushes him down into the hole. Lester slides
down into the hole till he reaches the bottom. His open eyes
show that he never believed this to be his demise.
The sun begins to peek out over the horizon.
JOHNNY
(to Betty)
I knew you weren't going to let us down.
DINK
Wow, like thanks.
JOHNNY
I thought we were goner's for sure.
BETTY
What? Do you really think I plan on
leaving here with you too fools?
She laughs.
BETTY (cont'd)
Let me put you out of your misery before
you head to Hollywood. Music! You got
no idea what music is. I'm going to save
you alot of heartache and everyone else
from being subjected to your terribly
pathetic band.
JOHNNY
And to think we gave you a ride when you
were stranded on the highway. We came
through when you needed us the most.
DINK
And went back to the hotel to save you.
BETTY
You still don't get it do you?
JOHNNY
Like, what's to get?
BETTY
Like you were set up. Do you get it
now? Has it finally sunk into that
little brain of yours? Or do I have to
spell it out for you?
JOHNNY
What are you saying?
BETTY
I'm saying, do you really think I just
happened to be some poor lost soul out
there stranded on a desert highway?
JOHNNY
Well, yeah.
DINK
What else?
BETTY
Take a good look at me. Take a real good
look. Do I look like I have to ask for
anything? Especially a ride from a
couple of losers?
JOHNNY
Please, Betty I don't want to die.
BETTY
Nobody wants to die. But we all have to
go sometime. And today is your unlucky
day.
She has a good laugh at their expense.
BETTY (cont'd)
Me and Lester had this planned for a long
time.
They're listening.
BETTY (cont'd)
We were at your last gig. We heard you
announce that you were leaving for
Hollywood. All the time you were on the
road there we were. Following right
behind just waiting for the right moment.
EXT. ROADSIDE - DAY
The Cadillac, smoke billowing from it rides along Route 66.
The Lincoln with Lester and Betty tailing it.
EXT. INSIDE THE METEOR HOLE - DAWN
Betty continues.
BETTY
And you never even had a clue.
EXT. ROADSIDE - DAY
Betty's standing on the side of the road as Dink steps out of
the caddy.
EXT. INSIDE THE METEOR HOLE - DAWN
BETTY (cont'd)
Men, you're all so weak. A little skin
and a pretty face and you drop everything
just to please. Well, look at yourself
now. You're about to be laid to rest.
Six feet under.
Betty cocks the trigger.
BETTY (cont'd)
Thanks for making me a millionaire two
times over.
Suddenly Betty starts to convulse, gasping for air.
She drops the gun into the hole and falls to the ground.
The boys watch as she contorts terribly.
She starts to bite down on her tongue and then begins to
swallow it.
The boys scramble from the hole.
Johnny reaches into her throat and tries to help her.
JOHNNY
Jesus. Hold on Betty. Just hold on.
BETTY
Get me my pills.
She bites down hard on his hand.
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Shit!
DINK
We better get her pills.
They clamor out of the meteor and race back to the caddy.
EXT. CADDY - CONTINUOUS
They rummage through her bag and find her pills.
They race back to the hole.
EXT. INSIDE THE METEOR - CONTINUOUS
They arrive with the pills but it's too late.
Betty's dead and lying in a terribly frightening and
contorted position.
JOHNNY
She's dead.
EXT. THE METEOR HOLE - CONTINUOUS
The boys, with shovels in hand stand over the covered hole.
EXT. ROUTE 66 - MORNING
The caddy enters the highway. Right where they left off only
twelve hours earlier.
EXT. ROUTE 66 - CONTINUOUS
The caddy barrels down the highway passing the cop car with
the dead cop still in the trunk. Blood drips from the trunk.
EXT. ROUTE 66 - CONTINUOUS
JOHNNY
Man, we got enough money to build our own
studio.
DINK
To make our own records.
JOHNNY
To start our own label.
JOHNNY
We can afford to get Gene Simmons to
produce our first record.
DINK
True. True.
JOHNNY
This calls for some celebration.
DINK
True. True.
Dink pulls the flowers from the bong and lights up.
They pass the bong to each other.
As the caddy picks up speed and begins to race down the
highway the guitar case in the backseat with all the money
flips open.
JOHNNY
Think of the chicks we'll score.
The money starts to fly out the back covering the highway.
DINK
We'll make our own videos with lotsa
really hot babes.
JOHNNY
Tour the whole U.S.
DINK
Tour Japan.
JOHNNY
True. True.
They plug in another one of their demos and crank the volume.
Dink, with guitar in hand begins to strum along as Johnny
beats on the dash with a pair of sticks.
JOHNNY
Hollywood, here we come.
The Cadillac continues down the highway.
FADE OUT.
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